On my bookshelf

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I am struggling, I mean seriously struggling to read a book lately. I typically love reading but I guess I can’t find a book that I can stick to all the way through. I just finished an audio book and I still don’t know why I finished it because it was soon anticlimactic!

Have you ever read a book that had good reviews but you hated it?! Hate might be a strong word but I wish the ending was better. What felt like 85 hours later I finally finished Before the Fall by Noah Hawley. Do you have any great audio book recommendations?

In hopes of getting my reading bug back below are the most recent books that are on my reading list.

  1. Start.: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, and Do Work That Matters by Jon Acuff. This book was recommended to me by my amazing life coach, Laine Schmidt. I’ll share more on life-coaching later! I love books that leave me feeling inspired and I always need a good kick in the right direction. 
  2. Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be by Rachel Hollis. I think the title says it all. 
  3. The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile. Do you love personality tests like I do?! I was a psychology major and I love getting a deeper understanding of who I am and why I might think or act a certain way. 
  4. Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. I need a fun and light hearted book in this list. I’ve heard really great things about this book. It’s also being made in to a movie and I’d like to read it before it comes out!

Let me know what you’re reading below!

The BEST vegan banana bread .

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You should know right off the bat I did not create this delicious recipe. I wish I did or was even capable of that. How does one even write their own recipe?! Sounds hard. 

My husband and I were vegan for a short while before we got married and tried again right after. I really thought it was going  to “solve” some of my health stuff but it was really time consuming. Eating vegan felt like a full time job. Do you realize how many vegetables you need to eat to veganize your plate?! I did find two really great recipes that I still make often and one is this banana bread, by The Baking Fairy! It’s really easy and doesn’t take any fancy or weird ingredients. With just 10 minutes of prep, pop this baby in the oven and go on with your regular schedule for the next 45 minutes or so.

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You’ll need:

  • 3 medium ripe bananas (this is my only tweak, I use 4! More flavor 🙂
  • ¼ cup vegetable oil
  • ¼ cup almond milk
  • ½ cup light brown sugar
  • 2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 2 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp cinnamon (a heaping tsp for me!)
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • ½ tsp salt
  • sliced bananas, for topping

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  1. Preheat your oven to 350F, spray your loaf pan with non stick spray. I use Trader Joe’s Coconut Oil spray.
  2. In a large bowl, mash your bananas but not too mushy. I actually use my potato masher 🙂 Add the brown sugar, oil, vanilla, and almond milk. Whisk to incorporate (I just use a wooden spoon, one less thing to clean).
  3. Add in your flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon and stir with a wooden spoon.
  4. Pour your mixture in your pan and top with your sliced bananas.
  5. Bake for 40-45 minutes depending on your oven temp. Then cover with foil and bake for 10-15 more minutes until your toothpick comes out clean.

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This bread is so good! I like it warm or cold. While it’s warm make sure to top with some Kerrygold butter, you won’t regret it.

Enjoy – Let me know if you make it!

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My Favorite Podcasts

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How many of you listen to podcasts? I know some people who don’t even know what a podcast is or where to find them. I personally love them! I listen to them most of the time on my commute to and from work. I love listening to people’s stories, mysteries, and even murders (who’s with me?).

If you’re a new listener or a seasoned one, here are some of my favorite podcasts I’ve found so far.

True Crime

  1. Crime Junkie: I’ve shared this one before in my post about my April Favorites. They come out with a new episode every Monday morning and I listen to this religiously on my way to work. It helps make my Monday commute a lot more interesting. Each week Ashley and Brit share true crime stories.
  2. In the Dark: I really liked the first season of this which was about a missing boy. The second season is turning really interesting. It’s about a black man who gets wrongly convicted for the murder of 4 people.
  3. Up and Vanished: OMG you NEED to listen to season 1. They haven’t come out with season 2 yet but I can’t wait for it. Season 1 is about a young teacher/beauty pageant  woman who literally up and vanishes.
  4. Criminal: This one I think is hit or miss. I enjoy most of the episodes but you can pick and choose the episodes unlike my #2 and #3 suggestions. Those you really need to start from episode 1.
  5. Dirty John: This one is amazing! I’m tempted to listen to it again. Just trust me!

Comedy

  1. Unqualified: This is a podcast by Anna Faris who is freaking hilarious. She interviews other celebrities and does funny sketches with them. At the end they take phone calls from people asking for advice which comes from a bunch of “unqualified” people; aka, Anna and whoever else she has on the show. Super funny and honest, but it is vulgar at times, so if that’s not your thing I wouldn’t recommend this.
  2. Armchair Expert: Okay so I haven’t listened to this one but it’s next on my list because hello, Dax Shepherd (super funny!).
  3. Mortified: You will laugh SO hard! These are recordings of people reading their old diaries from when they were younger out loud.
  • Soooo I obviously don’t have a ton for comedy…I clearly need to try more. If you have  recommendations for me, I’d love to hear them.

Everything Else

  1. Beautiful Anonymous: Chris Gethard has a one hour anonymous phone conversation with people. They simply share their stories; it’s really fascinating.
  2. How I Built This with Guy Raz: I love this one. Guy Raz interviews successful entrepreneurs about how they got where they are. A couple of my favorites is Bob’s Red Mill, Marcia Kilgore, and Ben and Jerry’s. There are a ton that I haven’t listened to yet!
  3. The Goal Digger Podcast: Hi Jenna Kutcher. This is a great one for creatives.
  4. Jen Gotch is OK…sometimes: all about mental health from an incredibly honest and funny perspective.

Have you listened to any of these? What is one of your favorite podcasts?

Photo by Alexander Mils on Unsplash

Monday Musings

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This weekend was pretty relaxed which was a good change of pace from the week. I had brunch with some former students of mine at a local spot, Hardy Park Bistro, so good! We filled up on coffee, laughs, and fries. (p.s. you NEED to get the fries!) I then worked my way back home and stopped off at the mall to try and find some summer clothes because the other day I wore an entire black outfit to work. I live in sunny South Florida so I would love to add some color to my wardrobe again. I’ve been super insecure about my weight recently so I’m trying to learn how to embrace myself in every stage. I’ll try to share some of the things I’m ordering. We finished off the weekend with putting up shelves in our bathroom. Also to clarify, when I say “we” I mostly mean my husband 😉 We try and spend some time every weekend on house projects because there’s a lot to do.

The 4 things I’m loving right now

  1. This mascara. I can’t seem to find a better mascara that makes my lashes as full and dark as this one. I hadn’t used it in a few months but I found a brand new tube in my makeup stash and I’ve been re-obsessed. The plastic wand is my favorite.
  2. My new makeup wipes. I realize these are technically baby wipes but they are the BEST makeup removers. I HATE washing my face at night most of the time. I get super lazy at night so I always keep makeup wipes in my nightstand because I know how important it is to remove my makeup. I’m always looking for cleaner products and these are perfect. You can get 3 packs for about $33! Also, if you have kids it’s an even better deal…double duty!
  3. Easy Meals. I currently have Trader Joe’s frozen meatballs and sauce on the stove. I’m obviously going to put this over pasta. I sometimes feel so bad that I don’t make more extravagant dinners especially since I LOVE to cook. I’ve been staying later at work recently so by the time I get home I’m exhausted so easy meals for the win lately.
  4. My brand new BIKE! My husband gave me the best birthday present ever, my very own bike! I’ll tell you more about that later this week because yes, to me it’s of course much more than just a bike.

Personal Health

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I’ve been really quiet this past week for a couple of reasons. The first being, I just took on some bigger responsibilities at work and it has kicked my butt. I love that it’s keeping me busy and my mind occupied but it’s also been exhausting. The other reason I’ve been quiet started last weekend. Did you all know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month? I just noticed that this year for the first time. In light of that, I thought I would share a little bit of my story with depression. I’ve struggled with depression over the past couple of years and have been in counseling since. For about a year I’ve felt like I had it under control or whatever that means. I felt like I had “conquered” my depression. Those of you that have also struggled with depression know that’s not really possible.

Last Saturday I started feeling down, which probably had something to do with Mother’s Day the next morning. My life has changed so much since I lost my mom 16 years ago and this past year has especially been an amazing whirlwind. But just because I’ve had a “good” year doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to experience whatever this is. The first and last time I was hit with depression was after my last relationship ended. It was fast and furious and ended as quickly as it began. During our relationship my aunts health declined and then she passed. It all happened so fast; the relationship, sickness, and death, that my emotions couldn’t catch up. A few weeks after the breakup, every painful loss I had experienced came pouring out. It was like an emotional avalanche where I couldn’t control my emotions anymore, there were too many to feel and process and I wasn’t prepared. Those were some of the darkest days I have ever experienced. I dragged myself out of bed for work but that was about it. Work was good for me and was the only place where my feelings felt neutral. But when I would get home I would hide under the covers and sleep and not feel anything. Depression is this weird conflict of emotions; you feel too much and therefore you almost feel nothing. I know that doesn’t really make sense but it’s really difficult to explain. It’s like things are happening all around you but you don’t notice or just don’t care. Depression is no joke. I was in therapy every week and sometimes would just sit and cry. My therapist would bring out a feelings chart because I wasn’t able to express anything other than “okay”. Therapy is the hardest but most rewarding work I have ever done. Since then I haven’t felt those down or depressed feelings until last weekend.

I am by no means where I was a couple of years ago but the same thoughts and feelings aren’t there but it’s familiar to me. I have a fear of being in that place I was two years ago. I knew something was going on when I pretty much stayed in bed all last weekend and a couple of friends texted me and it took all my effort to send a simple text back even hours later. I tend to isolate myself when I feel this way and I hate that. I’ve worked so hard over the last couple of years and have the tools I need so that I don’t crawl back into my hole. I also have an amazing husband who is so understanding and kind. While I was hiding in the bedroom writing he was painting the living room. I feel a little useless but we both know it’s important to take care of yourself. I thought I would be over feeling this way but it hasn’t happened yet. I just don’t feel “my normal” and I hate it. I’m super critical and incredibly hard on myself in all things including depression. I need to remember to give myself grace. It’s okay to take the time to process whatever this is and rest.

Have you heard of Jen Gotch? Well I think she’s amazing and the founder of shopbando. She’s so open and honest about her mental health and shares so many of her ups and downs with her 200k+ followers so I thought I could share with the handful of mine. It has taken me daysssss to finish this post because I keep editing what I think people will want/not want to hear. I crave honesty in all of my relationships and so it always needs to start with me. If I can’t be honest then I can’t expect it out of others.

I’m going to focus on self-care this week which is super hard for people that struggle with depression, you can read more about that here. I’m planning on doing the following:

  • take a bath
  • put on a face mask
  • make a delicious cup of tea
  • go through my closet (I know this doesn’t sound very “self-carey” but it’s something I really need to do and it stresses me out! So in hopes of eliminating a little stress I’m going to do it.)

These things might sound so small and silly to you but for me they are things that I have enjoyed at one time or another…well maybe not the cleaning part 🙂

I also don’t feel as bad as I did last weekend. Emotions are tricky and unpredictable which I don’t like. I’m learning to let go and embrace where I’m at right now.

Loving & Learning.

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I have now been married for a little over 3 months! I know, newbs…but 3 months have come and gone and left me learning a ton of things. Our first week started off very…let’s call it interesting. We got married on a Sunday and spent a few days in Orlando going to my dream land, Harry Potter World. Once we got home we spent one night here and the next several nights at the hospital, yes hospital. Ahhhh just what you expect when you’re living in wedded bliss as a newlywed right?? Yeah no. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. Unfortunately Joe ended up with his first ever kidney stone and it was a doozy.

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From the most magical place on earth to the hospital room is challenging, adding an expanding business is even harder. Joe is a brilliant mechanic and took a huge opportunity to expand the size of his shop right at the same time we were planning a wedding. Needless to say we were both under a ton of stress and it made our first month of marriage incredibly interesting. I’ll be honest, we fought a lot! I was frustrated that I was spending every night at home alone while he was working super late at the shop. His work had become such a sore spot in our relationship that I was becoming really bitter whenever the topic came up which was all the time. Needless to say the first month was rough. I knew marriage was going to be hard but this was hard. Where was that wedded bliss that everyone talks about?!

 

I have a theory about wedded bliss, it doesn’t really exist. Before you get all sad like I burst your fairy tale bubble…I think that’s okay; I actually like it this way. Why you might ask? Well, it takes a TON of pressure off of me and hopefully you too. I knew getting married would not be perfection by any means but I did think we’d be in a little bubble of bliss for a little bit. But I had it wrong. Real life doesn’t exist in a bubble of bliss because it’s not real. Real life is hard, it’s messy and complicated; it’s heartbreaking and incredibly exciting. Life is so much better than that little bubble of bliss that I imagined my first few months of marriage was going to be. Joe and I have had some BIG fights. You know what I’ve appreciated most about them? Joe’s persistence in pushing through them and reminding me that these fights suck (big time!) but that they help us to learn more and more about one another. The fights lead to grace and forgiveness.

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I’m learning how to be more humble, patient, and gentle. I’m learning how to cook nutritious meals for two that don’t consist of just turkey hot dogs and mac and cheese (hi pasta!). I’m learning how to share a bathroom sink and “my” space with another person. Everything is now “ours” and that’s new for both of us.

Life is different but so much more full. Joe and I both have gotten what we’ve always wanted; someone to share our life with. We both have a whole history of things that have happened before each other and now it’s us moving forward together.

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Now, does anyone have advice on budgeting? 🙂 He’s the saver, I’m the spender…any tools to recommend?

Photography: Emma Shourds Photography

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My April Favorites.

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1. Crime Junkie Podcast:

I have a love/hate relationship with true crime anything. I love the podcasts but then I also become a scaredy cat that is paranoid to even go to the grocery store alone BUT it’s something that I can’t seem to quit.

I really love this podcast in particular because it feels like I’m in a conversation with a couple of friends. Also they just did a recap of some information I knew NOTHING about regarding Adnan Syed from Serial. Check them out here.

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2. Bravo’s Southern Charm:

It’s back and I’m so excited! If you don’t know what this is, it’s a reality TV show on Bravo. It’s about a group of “friends” in Charleston, South Carolina. I’ll admit this, I LOVE reality TV, especially almost anything on Bravo. If you watch it who’s your favorite? I am a tiny bit obsessed with Cam. She’s brutally honest and hilarious; my kind of gal.

3. Young Living Mint Face Scrub:

EVERYONE NEEDS THIS! I’m new to the YL family but I’m loving it so far. I try a few new oils each month and am incorporating some everyday items too like, soap, cleaner, and best of all this face scrub. OMG it smells amazing! It’s the most refreshing face wash/scrub I’ve ever used. I have to stop myself from using it everyday even though it’s a super gents scrub. Hit me up if you ever want to try it. You won’t regret it!

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4. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up:

I know this was all the rage several years back but I wasn’t on the bandwagon then but I’m hopping on now. I am devouring this little book full of great insight and practical wisdom. Marie Kondo gives you a step by step breakdown of how to declutter and free your home! I am really excited to work towards our home being clutter free!

Has anyone read this or currently reading this? What’s the impact it’s made on you?

5. These earrings:

I LOVE jewelry and all things girly. I tend to lean more towards simple stuff but I am all about a pop of color from jewelry and shoes. These earrings go with everything AND I also have them in silver 🙂 Keep your eyes peeled for some fun stuff coming soon!

 

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5 tips for online dating.

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rawpixel-com-600782-unsplashFull disclosure, I am by no means an expert when it comes to online dating but I do have a lot of experience with it. I probably online dated for about three years on and off. You should know that I have only ever had three boyfriends. I pretty much didn’t date from the time I was 18/19 to about 28. That’s 10 years people! I had NO clue what I was doing when I started dating. I worked an insanely time consuming job that I loved, but took a lot away from my social life. While all of my friends were dating and getting married I was hanging out with middle and high school kids, traveling around the world and throwing amazingly fun parties. I wasn’t meeting anyone in “real life” so I was encouraged nudged to try online dating. I had very little experience with online dating or really dating in general but I figured, why not? I tried what felt like ALL of the sites; EHarmony, Match, Tinder (no judgment), Bumble (one of my favorites), Christian Mingle (bleh!), and Plenty of Fish (aka POF).

I might not be much of an expert but I would say I was pretty successful because I landed one amazing guy.

Here are just a few tips for online dating:

1. Post real pictures.

Make sure that your pictures accurately represent who you are. I know, I know, that’s asking a lot but the saying is true, “a picture paints a thousand words.” I was super intimated by so many of the guys pictures online. These guys had pictures of them skydiving, rock climbing, and traveling the world. I’m all about traveling the world and getting your adeline fix (which is not for me) but what about the guy who works a “regular” job and doesn’t plunge to their death out of planes?! I wanted to meet that guy.

The worst pictures to me were the ones of a guy in front of a fancy AF car or my personal favorite of a guy naked behind a guitar. Don’t worry you couldn’t see anything 🙂 I felt so lame at first because the only pictures I had of myself was reading a book, at a coffee shop, or some selfies that I reluctantly took for my profile and of course a couple of my travels. At the end of the day those were the photos that represented me in my element.

Make sure that your pictures are recent, meaning, do not post pictures from 10 years ago! Most likely you don’t look like that anymore, time does a lot of things to the body. Allowing the other person to get a preview of what you truly look like is the first step.

2. Make the first move.

Ladies, we’ve been told the majority of our lives to wait for men to make the first move. Let me tell you, that doesn’t always work. Why do women have to sit back and wait?! If you want to meet someone then make the move! Go after what you want girl! You might not be meeting “the one” but you might get some practice talking to someone. A little flirting never hurt anybody.

Send a message saying hi and ask them a question about something in their profile, make a cheesy joke, or even compliment them if you’re feeling super confident. You want to engage the person and say something to them that asks for a response back to hopefully start a conversation.

3. Don’t be so picky!

This is big, I know but hear me out! There was a time that I didn’t want to talk to a guy online because he was wearing a shirt I didn’t like or had a grammatical error in his profile. In those moments I was doing two things; 1. being judgmental and 2. being closed minded. Was I really not going to talk to someone because they had a job I didn’t understand, or one of his pictures weren’t up to my standards? Talk about me sitting all high and mighty behind my computer screen.

A few months before meeting Joe (the hubs) I decided to try my best at being more open-minded when talking to guys online. I came to the conclusion that if I expected a guy to be open to dating me, I had to stop shutting them down over silly reasons. Sometimes we just need to give someone a chance. On the other hand, sometimes we give the wrong people too many chances, especially when they’re super cute. Major deal breakers are things like religion, desire to be married, addiction, anger, and kids. Those are big things that you need to stick to your guns about; but someone wearing a bad outfit or liking a different genre of music, or not having perfect teeth are not. Don’t shut people down so easily.

4. Don’t put all your eggs in 1 basket.

I think it’s a good idea to talk to multiple people at once. Some people might not agree but I think it’s a good thing. Whenever I would start talking to someone that was “my type” or we “clicked” I would automatically get excited and hopeful. There’s nothing wrong with hope but a lot of times it’s a big letdown. Usually when you’re online dating your desire is to meet someone to date and hopefully get married to. You might start

envisioning a life with them and put the cart before the horse. Remind yourself that you are just trying to meet and get to know someone. Get to know them, go on several dates and then see if you actually click enough to hit the pause button on meeting other people. Typically I stopped talking to other guys after the second date with someone.

I would say try and limit yourself to three people, anymore than that it gets really difficult to keep track of the conversations. A lot of times conversations fizzle out really quickly so it’s not hard to talk to a couple of them at once. It helps to keep things more light and not so serious. Just because you finally get to talk to someone doesn’t mean they are your someone.

5. Be yourself.

This is key. If you can’t do this then you should probably spend more time getting to know who you are and what you want. Don’t pretend to like the same activities just to impress them in some way. They might respect your honesty more than anything. It’s a lot easier to be super honest with someone when you don’t like them as much because you’re trying to impress them less. Make sure you are honest across the board no matter who you are talking to. This doesn’t mean go ahead and tell them all your deepest darkest secrets but if I had met someone that wanted to have a running partner I would have to tell them that I hate running because I might not be the type of person they are looking for. You don’t want to fool anyone. It’s better to be who you are with a person you really enjoy and upfront with them so they get to know the real you because I’m sure  you’re awesome!

 

If you have any questions about online dating feel free to ask!